Please
by Miss Milly Jane
Summary: Reno was a fine example of a Turk. He was quick to think and quick to act, self confident and charming, cunning and intelligent, and even if he did say so himself rather good looking, but everyone has a breaking point, a reason to fall apart. Its alright though if someone is around to put you back together...or at least try
1. Chapter 1

**Summary: **When Reno is off duty their is nothing more he like doing better than going out and having fun, but recently he's noticed something strange, someone's watching him, following him, someone who envies him. They don't realise though that Reno isn't exactly as carefree and happy as he appears and in the end it may be that they end up helping him instead of the other way round (confusing I Know but it will make sense eventually.)

**Disclaimers: **I do not own FFVII or any of the characters in this story.

**Warning: **This is the first fan fiction I've posted for a long long time and I've got no proof reader so I will say sorry now for any mistakes. The characters personalities etc my seem a bit off, I've just based them around how I see them after playing the game and watching the movie etc. I will try to update as much as possible, it just depends on how many university projects I've got on the go.

**Setting:** A couple of years after Advent children

Anyway on with the show…..

**Chapter One **

Red hair became slick with sweat as his body moved with the beat, nothing mattered except for that night, the music, the drink, forgetting everything that he ever was and becoming nobody. He barely noticed the eyes that were transfixed by his every move, never heard the sighs his very presence elicited. He did not know that night to somebody he was so much more than just a nobody, he was beautiful, he was perfect, he was unreachable.

Light filtered unforgivably through a tiny crack in the dirty curtains, and this path of light just happened to happily land on the tangled bed sheets where a lone body slept, well tried to sleep. The bright unthinking morning light tauntingly shone directly into his tired green eyes making him curse as he pulled the thin duvet over his head which was soon thrown off as its owner gasped for air. It was a sunny day outside and the temperatures were reaching record breaking heights, in other words it was not a good day to have the ultimate hangover from hell.

Sighing the occupant of the squishy bed sat up and worked his way through the difficult task of removing himself from the tangled mess of bed sheets and towards the en-suite bathroom. Luck just had it that as he turned on the shower and stepped into the cubicle the phone back in the bedroom began to ring. "Damn it" a growl escaped his lips as he stalked back into the bedroom just in time for the answering machine to pick up the call.

"RENO WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU!" The man in question cringed at the sound of the high pitched, angry female voice. "The rest of us have already been here for hours working ourselves to death, so it would be very nice if you joined us you lazy bum!" He had been making his way back to the bathroom until he had heard that last comment which in turn caused him to rush back to the phone and grab it from it's receiver "Lazy bum, you'll be lucky if I even bother turning up now!" He then returned the phone to its rightful place maybe a tad to aggressively and finally managed to have a much needed shower in peace.

On the other end of the line a petite blond woman was staring bug eyed at a telephone headset. "I can't believe him, the nerve, the cheek. When he finally gets here he'll be sorry." She slapped her hand's onto the desk she sat at sending paper work flying in every direction. "Its like he doesn't even care about the rebuilding of Shinra, like he's not even proud to be to be apart of this great organisation!" She finished on a shrill note and shot a look that could kill to the bald guy lounging on a sofa on the other side of the office "Rude back me up would you!"

The man on the other end of the death glare just grunted, lazily waved an arm towards the desk and uttered a single word. "Phone."

The woman blinked and then noticed the ringing that had been drowned out by her ranting. She dived a little to enthusiastically across the table scattering more paper work and grabbed the receiver.

"Department 201, Elena speaking. Oh yes Sir, of course Sir, right away Sir, I'm on my way." She placed the phone back in it's cradle, grabbed her black jacket off the back of the desk chair and made her way towards the door.

Rude sighed and settled further into the sofa as she left, last nights shift had been a tough one and all he wanted to do now was sleep, it seemed though today lady luck was not on his side. Just as he was starting to doze off a red blur came streaking into the office slamming the door shut in its wake.

" She's not here right?" Reno had finally made it into work but sadly his hangover had decided to tag along and the last thing he needed was Elena nagging his ear off about job dedication and punctuality.

"Your safe" His bald partner announced and sat up so the other could sit. "Rough night?"

Reno slumped down onto the sofa and sighed in relief "No great night the morning just came to soon."

"Elena's really pissed off this time you know." Rude got up and made his way to the coffee machine near the front of the room.

"I know, I know you don't have to tell me." Reno took the mug of strong black coffee that the other offered him and sipped it gratefully. "All because she loves to suck up to Rufus and work all day and night doesn't mean she should expect me to. Fair enough when I'm at work I do my job and I do it well but when I'm off duty its my time and in my time I party." He scowled into the dark spiralling depths of his coffee, wishing his mug was big enough to drown Elena in. "Nah that would make my coffee taste bad." He mused to himself.

"Hm?" Rude sat back down and gave him a questioning look.

"What oh nothing." Reno came back to reality feeling relief wash over him as his hangover started to subside.

"So talking of work, what we got lined up for today? More paperwork?" He pulled a sour face at the thought of another day stuck in the office.

"No we've got to pay a visit to someone." Rude smirked as he saw his partners eyes light up. "What you mean we get to escape, we actually get to go into the outside world? It's a miracle." The red head sang out sarcastically.

"Yes and Elena's busy else where" This news was music to Reno's ears "

"Oh there really is a god," He put his hands together in mock pray. "and he loves me." Today was just getting better and better.

"So who are we going to grill, torture, bribe. Anyone I know?"

Rude reached and picked up a manila file off the coffee table and passed it to Reno. "No torturing today just a meeting and yes we are quite familiar with him. Strife, Cloud Strife." Rude caught a flash of something strange in Reno's eyes as he mentioned that name. "Reno, are you alright?"

_He felt it only for a split second, if it wasn't for the large amounts of alcohol coursing around his body he would have noticed it much sooner and done something about it. Someone was watching him, there eyes burning into his back. He spun round but it was too late, and he was too drunk distinguish anything strange within the sea of faces, the only thing he did notice was a flash of blue, bright brilliant blue. Thinking nothing more of it he carried on dancing forgetting the strange occurrence almost immediately. _

"Reno, Reno?" The red head blinked and then noticed a hand waving in front of his face.

"Huh what?" He blinked once more and the world around him came back into focus, and he realised the hand belonged to Rude who was now looking at him with concern.

"You just spaced out." He lifted his dark shades up so he could look into the dazed green eyes. "Are you okay?"

Reno nodded dumbly "Yeh just remembering something that happened last night."

"Nothing bad happened did it?" Rude now looked even more concerned, he knew how drunk Reno could get, and he knew that he usually didn't have much control over what he did when he was in that state.

The red head finally noticed his partners growing concern and snapped out of it flashing him a big smile. "Nah nothing bad, nothing at all really, don't even no why I spaced out so much." He stood up hastily and stretched. "Right then can't sit around all day need to go before the wicked witch of the west returns." He laughed standing up and throwing the file playfully back at Rude. "Come on lets go." He made his way out of the office, leaving Rude to try and figure out what exactly he had missed, something had happened last night, but what? Pushing the thought to the back of his mind for now he got up and followed his friend out of office, not quite sure if he was ready for what the day ahead might hold.

TBC

**Chapter One done, so what did you think? Hopefully things will start to become more clear in the upcoming chapters. Thanks to all that read the above chapter and reviews are very welcome and appreciated.**

**Cheers, Kitty (aka Milly) **


	2. Sunburn

**Summary: **When Reno is off duty their is nothing more he like doing better than going out and having fun, but recently he's noticed something strange, someone's watching him, following him, someone who envies him. They don't realise though that Reno isn't exactly as carefree and happy as he appears and in the end it may be that they end up helping him instead of the other way round (confusing I Know but it will make sense eventually.)

**Disclaimers: **I do not own FFVII or any of the characters in this story.

**Warning: **This is the first fan fiction I have posted for a long long time and I have no proof reader so I will say sorry now for any mistakes. The characters personalities etc my seem a bit off, I have just based them around how I see them after playing the game and watching the movie etc. I will try to update as much as possible, it just depends on how many university projects I have on the go.

**Setting:** A couple of years after Advent children

Sorry it took me so long to update, I didn't realise how far behind I was with my university work (whoops) and then my computer went dodgy and then everything went a bit crazy for a week or so.

Thanks to everyone that read the first chapter and thanks to Alana Quinn and Jen for the reviews

**Anyway on with the show…..**

Tifa was just preparing to open up the bar, she sighed and sat down on one of the high bar stools. It was another hot summers day and that meant the bar would be packed with people wanting to get into the cool shade for a nice refreshing drink.

She couldn't imagine anything nicer at the moment than running away to sunbathe on the beach at the Costa Del Sol. A Tequila sunrise in one hand and a good book in the other, and if she was really lucky she'd have a nicely tanned guy by her side to fan her face and rub sun tan lotion into her back.

Tifa was rather enjoying indulging in her day dream when a heavy knocking on the bar door snapped her back into the really world.

"The bars not open yet" She shouted grumpily "come back later!" The loud knocking, which was more like angry banging continued. She rubbed her temples as her stress levels began to rise. Finally she gave in realising the person on the other side of the door was not just going to give up and leave. She slid of the stool and went to unlock the door.

Reno was getting inpatient, he did not like to be kept waiting. He was just about to start to hammering his fist against the bar door again when it swung open and he was confronted by a dazed pair of brown eyes. "What!"

Tifa glared until she realised who stood at the door. "Why are you here?" Her emotions changed from anger to confusion in a split second as Reno pushed passed her and into the cool, dark bar.

"Is Cloud around?" The red head asked, his green eyes darting around the bar as if her expected the blond to jump up out of floor boards.

"Erm, yes he's up on the roof." Tifa answered still wondering why two Turks had just suddenly turned up on her door step. "What do you want with Cloud?" She moved back into the bar and Rude followed the door slamming shut behind him.

"Just business. " The red head stated flatly not bothering to turn and face her. "How do I get to the roof?"

"Oh just go to the top of the stairs." Tifa was now looking between Reno and Rude curious to know what 'just business' meant. Meanwhile Reno was already at the bottom of staircase when he felt his stomach lurch.

'_Damn' _His previously forgotten hangover was starting to remerge '_bloody weather_' he cursed silently. He paused and turned to back towards the bar. "How about a nice refreshing drink." He flashed a smile at Tifa who just stood there dumbfounded and then carried on his way up the stairs.

Rude was just about to follow the other Turk until he felt a weight on his arm. He halted and turned to look behind him only to see on a huge pair of sparkling brown eyes staring up at him. "Rude, could you stay and help me?" He sighed and let Tifa drag him back over towards the bar.

Cloud leaned heavily on the railings of the roof garden his breathe coming out in short ragged bursts, it was defiantly the hottest day of summer so far and since it was approaching noon now was probably not the best time to be training on top of a building right in the path of the viciously bright sun. He pushed him self of the railings and walked over to one corner of the roof where a small battered metal table sat, reaching under the table he pulled out a bottle of water that had been kept cold in the shade. He opened it and took a sip but then decided much more drastic measures were needed to cool himself off so he proceeded to tip the whole contents of the plastic bottle over his head. He closed his eyes and let out a content sigh, feeling much better he decided to start training again.

"No rest for the wicked huh?" A smooth voice from the roof doorway made him spin around. He was questioning himself on how someone had managed to sneak up on him, wondering if he'd maybe spent a few to many hours in the dizzying sun until he saw who it was. "I know how you feel, It seems like I haven't had a day off in ages. I guess that means I'm really wicked."

If there was anyone outside of Avalanche capable of sneaking up on him it was the man that had just interrupted his plan to start training again "What do you want Reno?" Cloud tried to sound as serious and imposing as possible but decided the effect was probably ruined since at this current moment in time he looked like a drowned rat with sun burn.

The red head in question thought it was a good sign that Cloud hadn't charged and try to slice him in two yet and decided it was probably safe to approach him.

The other watched as Reno as he moved towards him, he noticed even when he was just walking that he moved with the grace of a cat. Cloud wasn't aware that he'd been staring at the red head so intensely until he found himself looking directly into a pair of bright green eyes. He quickly averted his gaze to the floor and wondered silently what was wrong with him today, soon coming to the conclusion he needed to catch up on the sleep he'd missed the night before and get out off the sun which seemed to be scrambling his brain.

Reno blinked. He was pretty sure he had just caught Cloud 'savoir of the world' Strife staring at him like a love sick school girl. He laughed silently to himself and decided it was time to have some fun, after all his day had been a bit dull up until now. "We need a delivery making," Reno leaned towards Cloud with a mischievous smirk on his face "and well since your self proclaimed delivery boy of the year we couldn't think of a better person to ask." He placed his hands on the table, trapping Cloud between them.

Cloud swallowed nervously, _this was strange behaviour even for Reno. Did he have sun stroke or something?_ "Why send a 'Turk' to ask me about a delivery job, isn't it a bit to simple and clean to fit into your job description?" Cloud tried to keep his voice as steady as possible while he felt his discomfort grow as the result of the others closeness to him. He was getting more worried by the second that Reno had discovered his little secret.

"Well its not like your all sweet and innocent yourself. Your known to be unpredictable at times so…" Reno stopped and his eyes went wide. "Wait are you blushing? Why the hell are you blushing?" Reno mentally patted himself on back and decided his personal mission for today would be 'make perfect solider as uncomfortable as a teenage boy on his first date'. So far it was a success.

"No-o!" Cloud stuttered. " Its sunburn!" He tried backing away but just ended up scrambling onto the table that stood behind him instead.

"Oh really?" Reno was just about to carry on teasing Cloud when the door leading onto the roof opened.

"Who wants refreshments?" The red head turned towards the sound of the female voice while Cloud quickly jumped off the table and tried to regain his composure as Tifa walked towards them. She was soon followed by Rude who was carrying a tray containing glasses and a pitcher.

"Rude I never knew you were so domesticated." Reno laughed and then turned to look at Tifa again. "Then again I don't blame you for wanting to help such a beautiful young lady." He smiled and winked at Tifa who blushed.

Cloud watched as Reno flirted unashamedly with Tifa who giggled and blushed in response. It made him feel sick that his friend who he respected and believed to be strong and intelligent was being charmed by the cheesy lines the red head was reeling off. He was staring daggers into said red heads back not realising that Rude had noticed his actions and was looking at him bemused.

It carried on like this for about 10 minutes until Tifa was called away by Marlene and disappeared back downstairs leaving the three men on the roof. Reno turned to Cloud who in turn backed up slightly in shock. Reno's demeanour had changed within a split second, he was no longer smirking but instead looked deadly serious, "I haven't got anymore time to waste." His now cold eyes focused on Cloud "So lets get down to business. Usually we wouldn't dream of even asking you for help but we're busy at the moment and we've got much more important things to take care off. As you can imagine simple mediocre tasks such as deliveries don't feature in a 'Turks' job description." The last sentence dripped with sarcasm and Reno took a moment to gauge Cloud's reaction before he carried on. " You'll find all the information in here." Reno reached into his jacket pocket and took out a small brown envelope. "There are certain risks involved so try your best not to mess it up. You see if anything does go wrong I'm going to have to be the one that comes to your rescue and I'm sure you wouldn't want that to happen." He laughed and threw the envelope over to Cloud who caught it easily. Reno was right Cloud would be seriously embarrassed if anyone had to act as his Knight in shining armour, and if it happened to Reno he'd probably die of humiliation and shame. He stayed silent

"There's a contact number in the envelope, ring us when you've made a decision." Cloud was only half listening, he stared down at the brown envelope in his hands, intrigued what kind of delivery would have forced Rufus to ask for his services. He snapped out of his own little world when Reno spoke again.

"Come on Rude" Reno walked other to his partner who was still holding the tray of drinks. "Lets get back to our really work, we've wasted enough time today" Reno took a glass of the tray and took a sip before he turned back to Cloud. "Well I guess I'll I be seeing you around, maybe even sooner than I expect." He smiled darkly at the blond and then turned to leave. Rude soon followed, the tray still glued to his hands.

Cloud watched them leave '_Oh great, he knows, he has to know._' He panicked silently, all the while the image of Reno smug smile was dancing in front of his eyes. The Blond became lost yet again in his troubled thoughts.

_Hes so perfect, so witty, and even though he is a cold blooded murdering Turk everyone seems to fall under his spell. _

Cloud wanted that, he wanted to be able to laugh again, to smile just for the hell of it. He didn't want his heart to be constantly weighed down and swamped in darkness.

He did not even know why he still felt like this, he'd defeated Sephiroth again and hopefully for what would be the final time. Everything should have been falling back into place but it wasn't.

He no longer felt as if he had a purpose in life, he spent his days training for fights that would never happen, spent his nights alone. He'd even grown distant from Tifa who had become so involved in bringing up the orphans and running the bar that she never seemed to stop, let alone take time out to sit down with Cloud and reminisce about the good old days.

The good old days, is that how he really saw them. Days and nights spent tracking down Sephiroth, fighting for there life's, losing people he cared for and loved, always living under the shadow that the world as he knew it could be destroyed. Never being able to just stop until the task was done.

It had felt like going to hell and back but he'd seen so many places, met so many people and been a part of a group of companions who he truly cared for and who cared for him in return.

Cloud sighed, he had so many memories from that time. _The time they'd chased Yuffie around half of Wutai, all the nights they had to retrieve a drunken Cid from the local bar, nights sat around the camp fire waiting for Vincent to say something truly bizarre, every time when they were rushing to stop some terrible plan and the Turks always happened there to stop them in there tracks_. Cloud's train of thought stopped dead and he felt anger bubble up within in him. _The Turks, Reno! _He was the one that started him thinking about all of this in the first place.

He grabbed his sword and swung it downwards cutting the small metal table in half. "God-damn him!" He yelled and then fell unceremoniously to his knees, his sword clattered down at the side of him. "He's so perfect, so witty. People are drawn to him even though he's a Shinra lapdog." He muttered angrily. "Even Tifa acts like a giddy school girl around him." He sighed and slumped down even further until he was lay on his back squinting at the bright summer sun. "I'm so pathetic, I'm jealous of that red haired weirdo." He continued to mutter to himself until the voice of reason inside his head kicked in.

_Jealous, jealous. You've got to be kidding me. Jealous people scowl when peoples backs are turned not stalk them around night clubs! I think a more appropriate term to describe your condition is crazily obsessed._

Cloud sighed yet again and closed his eyes, blaming his strange behaviour on sun stroke he decided the only thing he was safe to do at the moment was sleep.

**Wahoo second chapter finally done and posted. I know it's a bit crappy but my brain is scrambled at the moment (oh well at least it is a tiny bit longer than the first.) Chapter 3 will be up in one and two weeks depending on how my work goes. Thanks for reading feel free to review.**

**Cheers Kitty (Aka Milly)**


	3. Spiral

**Summary: **When Reno is off duty their is nothing more he like doing better than going out and having fun, but recently he's noticed something strange, someone's watching him, following him, someone who envies him. They don't realise though that Reno isn't exactly as carefree and happy as he appears and in the end it may be that they end up helping him instead of the other way round (confusing I Know but it will make sense eventually.)

**Disclaimers: **I do not own FFVII or any of the characters in this story.

**Warning: **In this chapter there is some violence, rather bad language and people losing it ever so slightly.

This is the first fan fiction I have posted for a long long time and I have no proof reader so I will say sorry now for any mistakes. The characters personalities etc my seem a bit off, I have just based them around how I see them after playing the game and watching the movie etc. I will try to update as much as possible, it just depends on how many university projects I have on the go.

**Setting:** A couple of years after Advent children

Yet again apologize for how long this story has taken me to update, I'm blaming it this time on limited internet access, moving house and also super mega writers block hehe. The good news is though I'm already working on the next two chapters. Wahoo

Yet again thank you to the people that have reviewed and to anyone out there that has took time to read this story.

**Anyway on with the show…..**

_Chapter 3- Spiral _

The Job description of a Turk was wide and varied, and of course being an organisation controlled by Shinra meant they dealt with some rather questionable affairs using some very questionable methods.

It took a certain type of person to become a Turk, it certainly wasn't a path for the faint hearted to follow.

Reno was a fine example of a Turk. He was quick to think and quick to act, self confident and charming, cunning and intelligent, and (even if he did say so himself) rather good looking. Of course all these attributes were important to a certain extent but what really mattered was his cold, ruthless, almost sadistic streak. Never questioning how shocking or sinful the task at hand was and always sticking the mission even if it did lead to brutality and blood being spilt.

An organised , tight-knit, skilled force. They are what lurk in the shadows of Shinra, never faltering when it came to missions and never questioning what the higher powers of Shinra asked of them.

Well that was the theory at least…

Since Shinra was in the stages of trying to rebuild at the present time Reno seemed to find himself increasingly inside a stuffy office doing paperwork, or rather avoiding doing paperwork.

This change in pace had in turn changed some members of the Turks in small ways. Tseng was increasingly absent, dealing with Rufus on a more personal level and was only seen by the others when an order could not be given over the phone.

Elena therefore seemed to have taken it upon herself to unofficially take up the position of leadership and generally seemed to entertain herself by tracking down Reno when he was more than five seconds late for duty.

Rude had not actually changed all that much and still retained his aura of extreme coolness.

Personally Reno did not overly welcome the change, it was a far cry from the days when he never seemed to stop. Whether it was acting as a bodyguard to Rufus, tracking down some lowlife or going up against a certain blond, spiky haired man and his friends. Back in those days he had felt rather contempt.

He sometimes still did get called upon to carry out duties like this, but more and more he found himself confined within the four walls of the small depressing office.

This change he decided was the cause of his current mood. While for the majority of the time he was still the happy, smug, sarcastic Reno that most people recognised, he increasingly found himself lost deep in thought or at the bottom of a bottle of some very potent alcoholic beverage. He did not waste time mulling over his dark thoughts or strange behaviour though because he never believed that whatever was going of in the back of his mind would ever effect his life in the slightest. So as everyday passed by he became more consumed and slowly and surely he began to fall apart.

On this certain sunny afternoon he was feeling rather more pensive than usual, even the memories of the fun he'd had winding up a certain ex-soldier this morning were having little effect on lifting his mood.

"Arghhhhh…" The red head dramatically slumped forward in his chair, earning him a curious look from Rude who was yet again reclined on the sofa on the other side of the office.

Sensing the confused gaze he was receiving from his partner Reno decided to elaborate. "I'm hungover, I'm bored…" he paused for a moment to collect to his thoughts before leaping up almost in victory "…And I need a drink!" As soon as he proclaimed this fact though a rather loud gurgle filled the room as Reno's body protested and brought him back to reality.

"Or maybe not." He whimpered as he cowered back in his chair clutching where he thought his poor mistreated liver was located.

Rude was smirking rather amused by the others antics when Elena came bursting into the office. Reno visible winced when the blonde walked in, it was the first time they'd had any contact since the phone call that morning and he was pretty sure he was about to get screamed at or battered round the head.

"Right we have work to do!" She chucked a folder at each of them.

"Let me guess, more paperwork? I hope it is because I just love paperwork." Reno joked as he started to leaf through the file at the same time he breathed a sigh of relief, it seemed he was off the hook. His joy was short lived though as Elena walked past and hit him on the head with her own file.

"This is no time for jokes." She grumbled as she sat down behind her desk and glared at the other two, suddenly looking stern and much older than her young years. "This job is serious, there can be no room for mistakes."

Reno rubbed his head, a frown now placed on his face. "Since when were you the boss?" He spat out.

Elena now focused her glare solely on the red head. "Since you two became to lazy to care." Question answered she got back to the task at hand, ignoring the two gob-smacked looks she was receiving from Reno and Rude.

"Are Target is a small time criminal- drug dealing, prostitution etc. Usually we would not be bothered by such petty crooks, but as it happens he has some quite nasty information that could put Shinra's plans to rebuild and become a great once again in Jeopardy. We have tried being civil with him in the past but he's not buying it so we have no choice but to step it up a level." She finished her run down and focused her attention yet again on the other two present.

"Meaning…" Rude started but Reno jumped in.

"…we get rid of him, just like good old days" A grim smile appeared on the red heads face but his bright green eyes still sparkled.

"Exactly" Elena answered glancing at her watch. "We haven't got long so get yourself prepared!"

"Wait a minute." Rude spoke up looking questionably at his file. "It says here he's a family man, got a wife and a couple of kids. There not going to get in the way are they?"

"No we've got that cleared. Where we are going to have our 'meeting' with him is at his 'place of work' so to speak. He's unlikely to tell any of his family about the place let alone give them the grand tour." Elena explained while checking over her weapons. "Right anymore questions? Good lets get this show on the road!"

"Ah just what my day needed…" Reno smirked "…some excitement." He followed Elena out of the door giving Rude a friendly pat on the back as he passed, but he missed the concerned look on his partners face.

Rude had a bad feeling about this job, a very bad feeling.

888

Reno brought the unremarkable black car to a stop on the side of the dark quiet road outside a rather shabby, abandon looking factory. He turned to Elena who sat in the passenger seat and gave her a quizzical look "Are you sure this is the right place? Its just I thought a guy who was such a worry to Shinra would have a slightly grander base of operations." At that moment as if to prove his point a door slammed from somewhere within the walls of factory and seemed to make the whole building shake as a result.

"This is defiantly the place." She hissed out while looking down with annoyance at the gun in her hands. "I was sure I checked this was in working order before we left but its totally fuc.." Realising that Elena was about to burst into a full blown rant and possibly give away their presence Reno reached over and took the wrecked firearm from her grasp and gave it the once over himself. "Hm your right this wouldn't blow a hole in a teddy bear let alone a greasy overweight sleazy middle aged drug dealer."

_(AN:- I have not got a clue what can go wrong with a gun, as I have no clue about guns at all. I would research it but I have no internet access to do so- so I'm sorry that part all sounded a bit stupid and vague but basic point- Elena gun broken, Elena annoyed )_

He chuckled and turned to face the angry red faced blonde beside him

"Hey chill out. This job should go without a hitch anyway. The guy will probably piss his pants and have a heart attack as soon as we walk in." The red head laughed again and passed the useless weapon back to Elena. "Just leave the nasty grisly part to me and watch your back." Before Elena could moan about the whole situation going wrong or predict some other disaster Reno turned to face Rude who sat in the back.

"You ready partner?" He smirked at the bald man hoping he would be in a better state of mind than Elena, but then again this was almost a certainty since Rude seemed to ooze calm and collected from his very pores.

"Always." Rude gave a small nod and went to get out of the car.

"Good just what I like to hear." Now with a more serious look on his face but still a sparkle in his eyes Reno followed Rude's example and stepped out onto the roadside beside him. " Lets get to work."

888

Reno and Elena were in pursuit of their target. It seemed the fat middle aged crook had not been to pleased to see them and after a rather heated conversation he had made a run for it. At the moment he appeared to be leading them up to the highest point of the building since they were currently chasing the guy up flights of stairs which made it near enough impossible for Reno to get a decent shot in. At the moment though the red head was too shocked to even take aim. He and Elena who followed close behind were having trouble keeping up with him.

_God _He thought to himself in disbelieve _Who thought a guy that size could move so fast. _At that moment as if on cue the man in question got his footing wrong and went tumbling over. As he fell his leg twisted at awkward angle and he hit his chin on one of the steps ahead making his head snap back.

Reno somehow managed to wince and smirk at the same time. _That looked a bit too painful _he thought but soon he was left gaping in shock as the guy got up almost immediately and carried on with his escape attempt, albeit a bit slower and with a limp.

"This guys not real, has he got in built shock absorbers or something?" He muttered in annoyance but raced on knowing they'd have him cornered soon enough.

Reno smiled as he finally caught up with the over weight crook. He had been right, they had the guy trapped. Reno quickly scanned the room not wanting to take his eyes off the man in front of him for long. The room was small and windowless and was only lit dimly by a flickering ceiling light.

"Oh well no windows to chuck yourself out of tubby, what a shame" Reno barked out with a cruel laugh as he took a step closer to the now shaking man.

The red head knew he could look damn menacing at times and he was sure in the strange lighting that at this particular moment he looked threatening enough to give even the toughest gangster nightmares.

The large man soon found he could back up no further and settled instead for cowering on the cold floor.

"Don't look so scared, I promise I'll make it quick." Reno teased as he felt his heart begin to race. "I can't say that it'll be painless though." He bent down so he was on his victims level and whispered menacingly into his ear. " Like I told you before you decided you wanted to play tag- my boss thinks you know too much and to be fair we were very nice to you before. It didn't have to come to this we could have all been friends but no you had to go and ruin it all, didn't you." He sighed in mock disappointment and straightened back up, taking a few strides back from the detestable man who was now slumped against the wall. The guy was already beat up quite badly from the fall and was unlikely to be a threat, but Reno was sure he was still armed and did not want to risk him pulling a gun on any of them. He had made his point and now he would silence the guy and finish the job quickly and cleanly.

Just as he was about to do just that and end it all he caught sight of something in the corner of his vision

_What the Fuck!_ He screamed in silence as he watched a boy of about ten run straight over to the man who he had just been preparing to shoot. "Don't kill my dad, please don't hurt him, please…" The kid pleaded as his voice cracked and tears ran down his cheeks. Reno tried to figure out where the boy had come from and almost kicked himself when he noticed a huge dust sheet crumpled up on the floor in the same area as where the kid had appeared from. How could he have missed that? _Your losing your touch you imbecile. _A cold voice taunted inside his head.

The kid must had been at the factory and when they had arrived he'd probably ran away and hidden up here.

_Damn it! _Reno froze as he saw that the child in front of him seemed to be trying to shield his already wounded father, still begging and pleading.

The red head held his gun up, if the kid was in his way he would just have to deal with it. It wasn't a pleasant solution but he had a job to do and he couldn't let anything or anybody stop him. He took a deep breath and tried to aim.

_Damn it! _He cursed silently again as he realized his hands were shaking violently. _It's simple _Reno tried to convince himself _Shoot them both, get out of this shit hole, go home have a nice long shower and then go out and get wasted. _Still he didn't move, he was pretty sure his whole body shook now as his stomach churned and beads of sweat began to roll down his forehead.

Elena stood in place a little behind him staring in disbelieve and worry. She didn't know what to do, Reno had never froze up ever. He always knew what he had to do and he did it with no questions asked.

She now wished she had her gun, they needed to end this now. She was about to approach Reno but instead stopped before she began. _Elena you're the one losing your head._ She berated herself, deciding she was over reacting. The red head would snap out of it soon enough, the appearance of the kid had just thrown him. Soon it would all be sorted and she could go back to Rufus and report that there was one less person standing in the way of Shinra's plans. She smiled inwardly and almost laughed hardly believing that she had questioned Reno's abilities for even a second.

While Elena was getting ready in her mind to prepare a report on another job well done Reno state of mind took a step for the worse. All the dark thoughts that had been accumulating within his mind of late all seemed to be unleashed at once and the result of this was far from good "_Why?" _A voice in Reno's head spoke out. "_Why don't you just shoot the bastard… he deserves it after all?" _

"I can't" Reno barely whispered as memories came flashing into his mind.

_His mother's body lay lifeless on the dirty blood stained carpet, a bullet shot wound through her head. His pale little hands clung onto her shoulders as he tried to shake the only person that has mattered to him back to life. _

_The younger version of himself had not been able to process why her emerald green eyes no longer sparkled but instead stared blankly upwards, or why her usually soft warm skin was now cold to touch. He could not understand how any human being with a heart and soul could take her away from him._

"I can't." He repeated louder this time and dropped slowly to his knees.

In his mind he was just the same as the monster that had killed his mother. He had always told himself that the people he had killed, tortured or terrorised for Shinra were awful specimens of human beings, but did that give him the right to rid the world of there existence. How many partners had he made widows? How many children had he made orphans?

As these thoughts twisted and grew inside Reno he slowly lost his grip on reality.

He did not hear familiar voice screaming at him to move, he did not see Elena rush towards him as the man in front of him- his target raised a gun and aimed it in his direction.

888

While all the commotion had been happening Rude had been outside standing guard. His attention had been turned to other matters though as he discovered the radio that allowed him to communicate with Reno and Elena was acting up. Usually he would be able to hear the other's voices quite clearly but now all the earpiece seemed to be emitting was an annoying fuzzy static sound. At first he stayed quite calm but occasionally the radio would burst into life again and what he heard in those short moments was not to his liking.

_A young boy crying, Elena calling out to Reno. _That was enough to tell him something was wrong but what sent cold shivers down his spine was the fact that he had not heard Reno's voice for quite a while. The red head seemed to have been cast into silence suddenly.

Still he stayed put at his post. He had faith in Elena and Reno's abilities, they were both very good at their job and he was not about to go racing up there like an idiot and ruin the whole operation.

Well that was until he heard the gun shot.

He felt his blood run cold, Reno gun had a silencer fitted so it defiantly wasn't him who had fired the shot which only meant one thing, Reno or Elena had been the Target. At that moment the radio crackled back to life and he finally heard Reno's voice, well at least he thought the cracked, quiet voice belonged to the usually bubbly red head.

888

It wasn't until Reno felt a warm splash of blood land on his face and Elena's body collapsed on the floor in front of him that he started to drift back to reality.

He tried to speak out, but his voice was so cracked and strained it was almost unrecognisable. "El-El." He felt his chest constrict and it became harder to breath "What hap-happened. I don't kn.." His voice trailed off, he could not work it out, could not process what had happened, he was even having problems remembering where he was. His body shook and tears slid unnoticed from his eyes. His mothers screams still echoed inside his mind.

"Reno?" Hearing that cracked, pained voice was the final stage that brought him crashing back down to Earth. "Reno, are you okay?" He focussed his empty gaze on Elena, who now lay on the cold, rough ground. He spotted the wound in her stomach and in realisation put a shaking hand up to wipe away the blood that had splattered his face.

"I…" His voice caught in his throat. He could not form any coherent thoughts, could not think of any words of explanation or comfort to speak to the wounded woman, the woman who had just saved his life probably at the cost of her own. He just sat there and stared at the blood pouring from her stomach, briefly he looked up in the direction of the man who had just shot Elena, not that his eyes focused or took in any sight in particular .

"I couldn't …" He croaked and flinched as he heard another gun shot. Slowly his vision came into focus and he saw a man slumped against the wall in front of him with a hole through his head.

_The Target. _He thought silently to himself, finally remembering where he was, what he was suppose to have done. Then he turned his attention to the weight in his hand, as he looked he saw his gun, the gun that had just fired a shot. Confused he drop it as if it had burnt him, not registering the cries of the distraught child who was now clinging and clawing desperately at his dead fathers body.

He felt his head spin as he tried to comprehend what had gone wrong, but his thoughts were fragmented, his whole head felt like it was about to split in two. The whole feeling in turn made him light headed and sick to his stomach.

The room suddenly seemed more crowded and soon he felt someone grab onto his shoulders and start to drag him away. Already feeling ready to pass out he didn't protest and let all the voices around blend into one constant hum. Only one persons voice stood out from the rest as they uttered "leave no witnesses" and a third gun shot was fired.

He then realised the young boy now lay dead beside his father, Elena lay dying in a pool of her own blood and he could now add two more names to the list of peoples life's that he'd played a part in destroying. What made matters worse this time though, one was an innocent child and the other was his friend.

**Wahoo third chapter finally done and posted after months and months (oh dear.)**

**I found this chapter very hard to write and its still not 100 how I imagined it but what's done is done. I made up Reno's childhood and I'm sorry that its predictable and tragic and cliché but hey it fit into my idea. **

**This chapter started strange with the summing up of what it is to be a Turk but I wanted to put it (even though it should have maybe gone in chapter one.) And also I know Reno seemed to crack up very suddenly, but hey it happens when bad memories help to trigger something, well I think. So it took ages, it's kind of depressing (next time I shall put in some light relief hehe oh and Cloud) but hey its longer than the last one. **

**Well till next time…**

**Thanks for reading feel free to review.**

**Cheers Kitty (Aka Milly)**


	4. Bury Me

**Summary: **When Reno is off duty their is nothing more he like doing better than going out and having fun, but recently he's noticed something strange, someone's watching him, following him, someone who envies him. They don't realise though that Reno isn't exactly as carefree and happy as he appears and in the end it may be that they end up helping him instead of the other way round (confusing I Know but it will make sense eventually.)

**Disclaimers: **I do not own FFVII or any of the characters in this story.

**Warning: **In this chapter there is rather bad language, reference to alcohol, talk of harassment and some extreme sappiness.

This is the first fan fiction I have posted for a long long time and I have no proof reader so I will say sorry now for any mistakes. The characters personalities etc my seem a bit off, I have just based them around how I see them after playing the game and watching the movie etc. I will try to update as much as possible, it just depends on how many university projects I have on the go.

**Setting:** A couple of years after Advent children

Yet again, I apologize for how very very very long this story has taken me to update. I'm blaming it this time on crazy amounts of uni work, an extremely bad relationship with alcohol, a man who distracted me way to much (in a good way though mwahaha) and also super mega writers block hehe.

Yet again, thank you to the people that have reviewed and to anyone out there that has took time to read this story.

**Anyway on with the show…..**

_Chapter 4- Bury me_

Hot, sunny days never did inspire Reno that much, but today the clear blue skies and unimaginable hot sun seemed determined to downright taunt him.

After the previous days events he had been held overnight. The room he had been placed in wasn't quite a cell but neither did it contain anything that could be classed as home comforts. Not that any of this concerned him at this particular moment in time.

He had not slept a wink since he had woken up after blacking out. The red head had been confused to find him self in such a strange place to begin with, but then he had remembered what had happened. He was shocked more than anything, shocked that he had behaved in such a way. Never before had he felt so separated from reality, it was far beyond disturbing.

Now that his mind was firmly connected with the world around him again, it felt like it had just been a terrible nightmare. It was a comforting thought, but he would not let himself become lost in it, he would have to face up to the consequences soon, of that he was sure.

So there he sat, on an uncomfortable mattress, looking out the small window ahead of him. He watched as night turned to day, he listened to the sounds off the waking city, and he waited.

**888**

In another part of the building Rude sat staring out of a window, witnessing the birth of a new day . Usually at this time Reno and Elena would also be there in the office, but this morning he was alone. He had not seen either of them since yesterday. So he was left to recall over and over, what he had seen when he finally made it up to the top floor off the warehouse . Elena was lay in a puddle of a blood with a shaking Reno slumped over her. Their target was slumped against the far wall, a bullet hole in the centre of his forehead, a distraught young boy was shaking him, whaling. Despite his shock at the scene that had greeted him, he had stayed calm and called for backup. Elena was far beyond any medical treatment he could administer and Reno, well Reno had just been an empty shell.

Looking up at the clock, he frowned. In another hour Reno would be sat in Rufus' office, hearing his fate, and Rude had a sinking feeling that he wouldn't be seeing the red head again for a long time.

**888**

The sound of a bolt being slid across a door, and the creaking off hinges woke Reno from his thoughtless daze. He lazily looked up towards the front of the room. "Reno, Rufus wishes to speak with you." Tseng stood in the open doorway.

The red head had expected them to just get some low class guards to haul him up to the bosses office, so he was suprised to see they had sent Tseng. Maybe they expected him to go loopy again, he laughed to himself as he slowly stood up. "Lead the way." With a grim smirk on his face he followed the other Turk out of the small room.

As they headed down the corridor Reno tried not to think about what lay ahead of him. _Like I care. _He stared daggers into Tseng's back. _I don't need them, or any of this. _He desperately tried to convince himself but failed. Letting out a heavy sigh he cast his gaze to the floor. _Who I'm I kidding, what would I be if I wasn't a Turk? _

"Nothing" He answered himself, his voice barely above a whisper. Tseng heard though and was just about to turn and question the younger Turk, but they had already reached Rufus' office. Besides, Tseng knew there was little point in asking questions now, because once they walked through the double doors in front of them all Reno's answers would be irrelevent, since his fate had already been decided.

**888**

Rufus sat behind his large desk, with his face in his hands. He was not in the greatest moods, you see it wasn't everyday that one of his most reliable men decided to get in touch with their unbalanced side.

He had maybe expected Elena to crack sooner or later, after all lately she had been taking on a lot of extra responsibility recently.

It had not been Elena that had failed him though, maybe he should have had more faith in her. Not that it mattered anymore, now she lay in a hospital bed being kept alive by machines.

He sat up and focused his attention on the folder lying on his desk, Reno's folder. An unpleasant frown marred his handsome features as he reached and flipped it open.

He was greeted by a picture of the one who had 'failed him', flame red hair, piercing green eyes, mischievous grin and all the rest. The young president of Shinra let out a sad sigh as his fingers ghosted over the photo.

"Why Reno?" He questioned the air around him, his voice barely above a whisper. Just then he heard voices outside his office. Looking at the doors and then back at the photo, he allowed himself one last melancholy look at the snap shot of the red head. "I'm so sorry."

The intercom in his office buzzed, and his secretary announced the presence of Tseng and Reno. "Let them in." He responded in a flat emotionless voice, hoping the expression on his faced matched it.

**888**

Reno stood in front of Rufus' grand desk, he kept his eyes trained on the carpet. When he had first entered the presidents office he had made the mistake of making eye contact with him. Reno had quickly tore his gaze away, not liking the look he was on the receiving end of. It had been something between hurt, anger and disappointed, and had been so intense that it made the hairs on the back of Reno's neck stand up.

"Reno I'm sure I don't have to explain you why you're here." Rufus spoke looking up at the red head, wishing he would look back.

"Yes sir." Reno spoke clearly, but still kept his eyes down. That was until Rufus let out an uncharacteristic sigh, and before Reno could stop himself he had looked up and was soon locked within Rufus' gaze.

After finally gaining the attention of those intense green eyes Rufus was not going to let go. "I don't want to have to go into the details, so I'll get straight to the point." Before going on, Rufus made a silent pray for forgiveness.

"Your actions, whether they were under your control or not…"

_Please forgive me Reno_

"…jeopardised the mission, and therefore put the restoration of Shinra at risk…"

_You have to understand I don't have a choice, if I did I'd be helping you…_

"…I can not allow this to happen again."

…_not letting you go._

"With this in mind, I have no choice but to suspend you until further notice."

_I'm sorry._

"This decision is effective immediately. Once you leave you must not try to contact us. If we need you, we shall contact you. Nor may you have any interaction of any kind with anyone involved in or connected to Shinra during the duration of your suspension."

Reno very nearly passed out, he hadn't realised that he had been holding his breath throughout Rufus' judgment and sentencing. Finally catching his breath, he began to process what had been said. He blinked a few times in disbelieve. He had expected severe disciplinary action, maybe demotion, but not this.

To have all his ties with Shinra cut, was like being stranded out at sea without a lifejacket, or chance of rescue.

Before he could stop himself Reno had began to speak.

"But sir, you can't be serious?!"

Rufus looked away from the devastated man before him, but spoke firmly. "You are dismissed."

"You can't sir. It won't happen again…" Reno protested hopelessly, while striding forward and leaning heavily on Rufus' desk "Discipline me, demote me, God I'll even clean bird shit of the windows for the rest of my life, just don't do this." The red head was begging now, like his life depended on it.

"Tseng, escort him out." Rufus ordered.

Before Reno knew it, Tseng had a hold of his shoulders and was dragging him towards the doors. In a last ditch attempt he tried to appeal with the man before him.

"Rufus please, Rufus don't do this…" He stopped in shock as the man in question looked up and stared at him with sad eyes. Reno blinked in shock, and just before he was dragged out of the room, he was sure he saw Rufus mouth the words _'I'm sorry'. _Then the doors were slammed shut and Reno knew he would probably never see Rufus again.

**888**

Some hours later, Reno was back at his drab, dirty apartment. He stood leaning against the railings of the apartments small balcony, blank eyes stared out over the darkening city. A glass containing a very generous measure of whisky was grasped in his hand, a nearly empty bottle sat by his feet.

"So that's it, its over just like that." He talked quietly to himself and then downed the contents of his glass. He knew in his heart, that suspension from Shinra lasted till your dying day. "All because of some stupid memory…" His words betrayed his true emotions though, and inside his mind he heard the haunting, previously long forgotten sound of his mother screaming in terror and pain.

"They'll never trust me now. He'll never trust me ever again." Pausing, he remembered Rufus' silent parting words. "Yeh, I'm sorry too."

Pouring himself another drink, he succeeded in emptying the bottle. "Well that's it, no life, no friends, no purpose." He sadly thought about how he would never be able to speak to Rude again, one of the only people in the world who seemed bothered if he woke up in the morning, who cheered him up when things went wrong, who looked out for him.

He downed his drink yet again. "Well I guess there is nothing else to do then." He laughed bitterly as he turned and walked into his apartment. Once in his bedroom he showered, and changed into some tight jeans and a figure hugging white shirt. Checking himself out in the mirror, he smirked. He looked good and he knew it. What Reno also knew was, that there was no better way to forget, than getting absolutely wasted.

Grabbing his keys and wallet on the way, he headed out of his apartment, slamming the door behind him and smiling. He did so, because he knew in a few hours he would not give a damn about Shinra, about his past, or about Rufus and Rude. In fact, he would not care about anything, the only thing that would matter would be that night- the music, the drink and most of all letting go and forgetting who he was.

**888**

Reno was scared to open his eyes, as he didn't quite remember when he had actually closed them and gone to sleep in the first place. He wanted to believe that even though he had been brain splitting drunk last night, that he had still managed to stumble back to his apartment and crawl into his own bed.

Sadly as his mind woke up more and more, he found himself not able to believe that this was the case.

First thing that he could tell without opening his eyes, was that the bed he had woken up in, and the covers he had slept under were not his. The bedding smelled far to clean and fresh for one, and the mattress was far more squishy than his own.

It was actually quite comfortable, and he was rather tempted just to forget all his worries and fall back into a hangover free, deep sleep. He stopped himself as he started to drift off though, and instead finally opened his eyes.

He shifted up slightly, peered over the duvet and scanned the room around him. It took a while for his usually sharp eyes to adjust to the dimly lit surroundings, but eventually he could see well enough, not that there was much to see.

The room was neutrally decorated with whites and creams, and sparsely filled with only the necessary pieces of furniture. It was clean and cold, we_ll except for the bed _Reno thought as he slowly felt sleep begin to drift over him again, as he settled into the warm, cosy sheets…

"Shit." He nearly shouted, but managed a strangled whispered instead as he sprang upwards into a sitting position. Thoughts started rushing into his head at record pace.

_I've woke up in a strange bed, in a strange room and I got so drunk last night that I can't remember a thing. Oh crap what the fuck did I do, actually no wait - who the fuck did I do? Great, well what top way to end an already fantastic week. First I end up fucking up my job and practically ruining my life, while nearly getting a friend killed, and now I've gone and jumped into bed with a perfect stranger, who for all I know could be a total psychotic. _He brought a hand to his forehead in desperation, and shut his eyes as he tried to remember anything about the pervious night. _Oh bloody hell Reno, you usually have control over your self_ . _For all I know she could be… _His stopped dead in his tracks and opened his eyes to look around the room again. If this was a girls bedroom then he had never met a girl with such masculine tastes. _Okay not she, most probably he. _

He gulped nervously, as a few memories came rushing back to him.

He had been drunk, very drunk, and had stupidly excepted a drink of a rather hot looking guy. Next thing he knew he was not just very drunk, he was uncontrollable, he was not just being a shameless flirt, he had been all over the guy, bending to his every whim and fancy. "And Then.." He whispered apprehensively to himself and tried to remember what had followed next, but found he failed. It was a blank, he could not recall anything more.

He sighed heavily, and put his head in his hands. _What I'm I suppose to do now? _He questioned no one but himself, and was just considering locating his clothes and making a run for it when the bedroom door opened.

"Hey your finally awake? I would say good morning but since its 3pm…" Reno blinked in shock as he heard the voice, it was a voice that was very familiar.

He looked up and soon had his suspicions confirmed as he saw who stood in the doorway "Cloud?" He questioned stupidly. After the word had escaped his lips his thoughts caught up. _Cloud, wait Cloud Strife. I spent the night with…_He dare not even finish his questioning off silently as he slowly felt his face become very hot.

Meanwhile Cloud had walked further into the room "Hey Reno, are you okay?"

The blond sat on the edge of the bed slightly concerned for the red head, who had suddenly started looking very flushed.

"I…I" Reno was at a loss of what to say. If only he hadn't drunk so much, if only he could remember what had happened. His thoughts were interrupted yet again as he felt a light pressure on his forehead. He jumped back in shock looking up like a dear caught in the head lights.

Cloud moved back a bit , he had only placed his hand on the others forehead to see if he was burning up and hadn't expected such a jumpy reaction. "Your burning up." He sighed "I don't know what those bastards put in your drink last night, but whatever it was it was not pleasant."

Reno had not really been paying attention up until that point, instead he had been yet again wracking his brain, trying to remember the events of the previous night, and when and how he had ended up in _'self proclaimed delivery boy of the year' _bed.

"What, who, my drink, when and who?" Reno was now confused more so, and his poor hung-over brain seemed to start spinning around like a merry go round.

Cloud blinked and peered at the red head in his bed , who currently seemed to be trying to hide under the duvet. "You mean you can't remember at all, can't remember those guys, the ones that were basically trying to sexually assault you in the middle of the club. The same guys you were trying to kick and punch, but you were so drunk they just laughed at you. The same guys I ended up beating up to bloody pulps, before dragging you here and then not sleeping nearly all night because I was worried about you dying on me or something!?" Clouds voice had slowly gotten louder and louder, and now he had finished he couldn't even work out himself were all that emotion had come from.

Meanwhile Reno had gone very pale and was staring at Cloud with wide, shocked, unblinking eyes. "I, I can't remember." Reno all off a sudden felt rather sick, and cowered down further under the duvet. Seeing this Cloud felt rather bad for him, he shouldn't have gone off ranting like that, fair enough Reno had been drunk, but it not like he had asked for his drink to be spiked by a complete asshole.

"I'm sorry, its just I was worried." He stood up and went over to the rooms only wardrobe and pulled some stuff out off it. Walking back over to the bed, he placed some clothes and a towel down upon it. "I'll tell you what, I'll go make us something to eat and why don't you grab a shower." Cloud spoke kindly and pointed to the bathroom door. "It will probably make you feel better." He stood there trying to decide whether to say what he really wanted to say. Taking a breath he continued. "And then maybe we could have a talk, I mean if you want to that is. Its just last night you mentioned some things, and well you know you seemed pretty messed up…" Cloud trailed off, his words were coming out all wrong and he realised that Reno had sat up and was looking at him. Cloud sighed, it wasn't the happy, smug look you usually found on the red heads face though, it was distant and sad.

"Thanks, I mean for…" Reno mumbled quietly but trailed off, unsure of how to express his gratitude. Grabbing the clothes and the towel he got out of bed, and cursed silently as his head began spinning. As he tried to walk he very nearly fell straight over, and Cloud was soon at his side supporting him, but Reno batted him away weakly. "Really I'll be fine." He then continued to stumble towards the bathroom. When the door finally shut and the locked clicked Cloud collapsed onto the bed. It was certainly going to be a long, interesting and difficult day.

**Chapter number four done and dusted, I'm sorry it took me so long, uni work is putting a lot of pressure on me at the moment though, so the only time I get to write this is in the early hours of the morning when I can't sleep.**

**Okay so yet again there was no light relief in this chapter (oh dear its all doom and gloom), but at least Cloud made appearance.**

**And I know my characterisation of Rufus may seem a bit off, but I like to thing under that hard, cold, aloof exterior there is a bleeding heart (awwwwwww bless).**

**This fic could go in one of three ways at the moment, and I'm not sure which direction to pick (ekkk). In other words it could get better or it could get very very bad indeed hehe. **

**Well till next time…**

**Thanks for reading feel free to review.**

**Cheers Kitty (Aka Milly)**


	5. Sometimes I think I could

**Summary: **When Reno is off duty their is nothing more he like doing better than going out and having fun, but recently he's noticed something strange, someone's watching him, following him, someone who envies him. They don't realise though that Reno isn't exactly as carefree and happy as he appears and in the end it may be that they end up helping him instead of the other way round (confusing I Know but it will make sense eventually.)

**Disclaimers: **I do not own FFVII or any of the characters in this story.

**Warning: **In this chapter there is a little bad language, some extreme mood swings, some extreme confusion, some cheeky behaviour, and reference to abuse, drug and alcohol use.

This is the first fan fiction I have posted for a long long time and I have no proof reader so I will say sorry now for any mistakes. The characters personalities etc my seem a bit off, I have just based them around how I see them after playing the game and watching the movie etc. I will try to update quick, but I've just finished university, started work full time, while looking for a another job and its all so crazy. (Full so very sorry list at the end)

**Setting:** A couple of years after Advent children

Yet again, I apologize for how very very very long this story has taken me to update. I'm blaming it this time on trying to pass uni, full time jobs and moving house. And also this has been the hardest chapter to write, plus I wanted to update on Sunday but yesterday I was very ill, twas evil.

Yet again, thank you to the people that have reviewed and to anyone out there that has took time to read this story.

**Anyway on with the show…..**

**Chapter 5- Sometimes I think I could…**

Cloud moved around his small, but clean kitchen area making a very late breakfast. _Its even to late for it to be called brunch_, he thought as he started to make a fresh pot of strong black coffee. As he busied himself with the various culinary tasks, his mind wandered. He was feeling apprehensive and on edge, but somehow happy and bouncy at the same time. As he caught a whiff of the brewing coffee, he decided it was probably not a good plan for him to drink any, since he didn't want to add 'hyper' to the list.

Sighing he leaned against the countertop, his thoughts centred on the man who was currently taking a shower in his bathroom. The man that he was both infuriated and infatuated with. Those bright green eyes, that wicked smile, that infectiously annoying personality.

The blonde snapped quickly out of his musings when he remembered what state the said red head had been in last night, he had been needy, and to happy to do anything it seemed for a little companionship. To be fair Cloud was sure Reno's drink being spiked was to blame for the most of the strange behaviour, but it scared him to realise that a small part of what he had witnessed had just been Reno being Reno. This Reno was unfamiliar to Cloud, he was not brash and confident, he was lonely and submissive.

Cloud huffed, pulling an unpleasant face, which was only seen by the unseeing kitchen worktop, as his glare fell upon it. Yesterday morning when he had woken up, he only had to cope with infuriation and infatuation, but this morning when he'd been rudely awakened by a tumble of his sofa, after a very short, fitful sleep, he found that the two dreaded 'I's had been joined by there friends 'worry' and 'concern' . Sadly the cause of Clouds emotional turmoil, who was currently inhabiting his shower was feeling just as confused.

Reno closed his eyes as the warm water trickled in many paths down his tired body. Leaning against the shower wall he give a week sigh, even though he couldn't see them with his closed eyes, he could feel the bruises that scattered his body in a twisted random pattern. Marks he guessed he had gained from being grabbed, slapped and groped. He shuddered despite the hot water and opened his eyes, hoping to prevent memories remerging and playing as a private movie just for him inside his head. He could not work out which was bothering him the most, the fact that he'd let some total strangers abuse and toy with him, or that Cloud had seen it all, seen him be overcome and then broken down before him.

These thoughts were still running through his mind a little while later, when Reno found himself walking quietly out of Cloud's bedroom, his fingers nervously playing with a silver chain he wore on his right arm.

As he stepped into the large bright room beyond he relaxed a little, he could see Cloud working away in the kitchen area of the large open plan living space, but no one else. No sooner had he let out a sigh of relief though that he found himself quietly questioning. "But I thought he lived with Tifa?"

Even though the question had never meant to reach his ears Cloud heard him and gave him a short, simple answer.

"I used to, not anymore though."

Reno blinked, the others voice had not been happy, but neither had it betrayed any other emotion, it had just sounded dead. Reno kicked himself for his lack of control over his vocal cords. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to pry." The last thing he wanted to do was annoy Cloud, he just wanted to say thanks and goodbye and be out of there before any questions could be asked. Didn't he?

Cloud stopped searching through the cupboard he stood in front of and sighed "Don't worry." He quickly snapped out of his melancholy mood though and gave himself a mental slap, now was not the time to be moping over things that belonged in the past. Turning towards the other he offered a smile. "Do you want a coffee?" He asked, hoping his voice didn't sound to much like that of a pleading child.

Reno felt a twinge in his stomach as Cloud flashed that bright smile at him. He looked at the blond and then quickly at the apartment door, debating whether he should stay or go.

_What you going to do if you go back Reno, crack open another bottle of Whisky to greet your latest hangover._

Frowning with displeasure he turned back to Cloud, who was still smiling that wonderful smile. He instantly saw which was the more pleasant of the two options and nodded at Cloud, offering a week smile of his own.

"Great!" Cloud said a little too enthusiastically, he could not help it though as he had been sure for a second back then that Reno was going make a run for it.

Berating himself for his lack of faith, he soon realised that his still sleepy looking guest was standing awkwardly in the middle of the room, seemingly unsure what to say or do.

"Anyway take a seat, I'll just sort out that coffee." Cloud just like the unnervingly quiet red head found the need to kick himself for what was probably the tenth time that day, he sounded like a hyper five year old, and it had never taken him this long to make a coffee. He was just grabbing two mugs out of the cupboard when Reno spoke.

"Thank you, for last night, and well today." Cloud turned to the red head, not liking how cracked and pained his voice seemed, if it was possible he sounded worse now than he had earlier. "I'm sorry…" An uncertain, uncharacteristic pause, followed by a nervous laugh "Not the most enjoyable way to spend your night I bet, getting lumped with a drunken sad case, and having to baby-sit and listen to him ramble on like an idiot."

Cloud didn't reply immediately, but instead finally poured out the coffee and sat opposite Reno and placed the mugs in their respective places. He then slowly looked up, feeling a nervous tingle run down his spine the moment before he carefully caught the gaze of startling green eyes.

Reno found himself discovering that the 'oh so very cliché' idea of drowning within someone's eyes was actually possibly, and that the intense, albeit thoughtful blues eyes that had suddenly hypnotized him, had a great effect on calming his mind and making him forget all of his problems.

Cloud grinned subtlety to himself, although he did not like seeing this sadder, disheartened version of Reno, he decided the unguarded nature that companioned it was quite a nice development. "True there are better ways I could think of ending a night out, just don't do it again and you've got nothing to be sorry or thankful for." He watched as the other relaxed, then broke eye contact, he knew that Reno had seen more in his bright eyes than he had gathered from his words, that there were no hard feelings.

A small smile graced the red heads face, he then waited until Cloud had risen to his feet again, and had his back to him before he spoke.

"You do amaze me, for as long as we've known each other I've never really made life easy for you, but here you are treating me like a friend." Reno sighed as he finished, feeling uncharacteristically guilty for the way he had treated the blond in the past.

Cloud turned back to Reno, frying pan in one hand, egg in another, and a thoughtful expression on his face. "Well that's true I suppose…" He looked up towards the ceiling, unsure of what to say. Placing the items in his hands on the work top, before leaning against it, he tried to choose his words carefully, but before he could utter a syllable Reno found his voice again.

'When you found me in the club last night, I know I was rather out of it, its it hard for me to remember what I told you, if I told you anything at all that is.' The red head only left Cloud enough time to catch what he was saying before continuing, not wanting to hear what he had to say in reply just yet. 'I just want to let you know I don't usually let myself get in that state.' The little voice in Reno head decided to interrupt, taunting him about the lies he was telling Cloud. _Don't usually get in that state, ha don't make me laugh, your still handing out lies and deception, just like a true Shinra lapdog._

Renoresisted the urge to batter himself other the head with the heaviest object insight, and instead carried on speaking 'It's just that some of the events that have occurred during the last week have shaken me up somewhat.'

Cloud thoughts at that moment were not far from Reno's own. He knew some of what Reno had just said had been a lie, Cloud had seen with his own eyes that the red head spent more and more time at various clubs, squandering away the late night and early morning hours by losing himself in a euphoric haze of alcohol and pounding music . Not that he could challenge what Reno had said, because as soon he decided to do so his big secret would be not so clandestine anymore, and he was not even sure he understood himself why he had all of sudden developed the need to follow the other around. He could not distinguish if it was jealously which had lead to such actions , or something more akin to desire, but what he did know was that if Reno discovered that Cloud had become his own personally stalker, he definitely would not even be able to start to explain any of it to the red head.

The colour from his face drained from just contemplating such a thing, and he quickly turned his thoughts back to the conversation Reno was trying to initiate, rather than focussing on the track that his own thoughts were racing down 'You did mention a few things last night but I could not tell if the drugs coursing through your system were affecting your actions.' Cloud thoughts moved on to memories of the early hours of that morning.

_Reaching his flat with a sobbing Reno in his arms, Cloud found himself struggling to get the door unlocked, before he finally managed to make it inside his bedroom, and unburden his arms as he placed a distraught Reno upon the covers. He had then tried to exit the room again, in hopes off finding something to calm, or help Reno in some way, but before he had even taken one single step, he was pulled back by a hand that had slithered its way around his wrist. _

'_Don't leave me, please they'll come back, they all think, they think…' A broken whisper was the best way to describe the way the red head spoke. It was a haunting sound all by itself, but when his eyes were greeted by the sight trembling bruised lips, and bright green eyes full of terror, framed by eyelashes glistening with tears, Cloud felt his breath catch in his throat. He placed his own hand over Reno's, hoping to offer some comfort as he moved to sit on the edge of the squishy mattress._

'_It doesn't matter now, those guys won't ever dream of touching you again.' He spoke soothingly, even though he was becoming lost in the memories of a few hours earlier. His hands were still caked in the dry blood, which had covered his fists, as they had smashed into the faces of the men who had took it upon themselves to take advantage of Reno._

_Cloud was pulled from his thoughts of violent rapture as Reno sobs morphed into manically laughs._

'_You think I'm bothered about those losers?' Cloud blinked in shock as Reno's hand moved from his wrist to the blonds face. With tears still pouring from his eyes, but a disturbing smile forming on his lips he leaned forward and whispered breathily right next to Clouds ear. 'They could have had me, done whatever they wanted to me, it wouldn't mean anything. I've always been up for a cheap, meaningless fuck all my life, but I don't like being abandoned.' After the harsh, self detrimental words left his mouth, he slumped forward onto Cloud's chest, a fresh round of sobs racking his body. 'They were all I had, and he tossed me out just like the trash I am, I can't ever go back now, they won't ever have me back.' _

_Cloud tried to keep up, but he was finding it hard when he could make little logically sense of what the man clinging to him was saying, so he did the only thing he could as Reno began to speak again, and wrapped the other man in his strong arms, trying to comfort him. _

'_Just don't leave me, they'll never take me back, but they won't let me live for long either. They'll come to find me soon enough, because I know to much. Just one bullet in the middle of my head, problem solved, I won't be able to use me pretty little mouth then, to tell there secrets.' Reno voice slowly became quieter as a drink and drug induced sleep beckoned to him. 'Just don't leave me.' He snuggled deeper into the warmth of Clouds embrace. 'Please don't leave me Cloud.' And with that final pleading request he drifted into a deep sleep, still clinging helplessly onto the man who still held him, a man who wondered what on earth he should do or think, a man who was questioning if the person who had just spoke those words was Reno at all._

Cloud snapped out of his musings, suddenly feeling the need to find something much stronger than coffee to drink, just to chase away the distressing memories. He reprimanded himself though for his selfish thoughts, if being on the receiving end of Reno's words had made him feel so terrible, then being the person with the reason to speak them in the first place must have been infinitely worse. 'You told me not to leave you, that they would come back for you, that they would kill you…' Cloud took a shuddering breath before he continued '…and you were not talking about the guys that attacked you last night.'

Reno eyes widened slightly in shock when he heard this, he really did detest the fact that he could not remember any of what had transpired while he was drunken and drugged up.

'_I've always been up for a cheap, meaningless fuck all my life, but I don't like being abandoned.'_

Reno nearly fell out of his chair in shock, as a disturbing memento from last night came back to him. _What the, I said what to Cloud, oh please say I did not say that. _He pleaded silently to anyone who might be listening in on his thoughts, but stopped as the rest of the conversation came flooding back to him with vengeance.

'…_they all think, they think…You think I'm bothered …done whatever they wanted to me…able to use me pretty little mouth then…please don't leave me Cloud…'_

The red head bit his bottom lip unconsciously, and looked awkwardly at Cloud. 'I feel I should explain some of what I said last night.'

Cloud had seen the realisation dawn on the others face as last nights events had come back to him, and did not wish to force Reno into talking about something so intense. 'Really its not necessary, not right now at least.' The other paid no attention to his words though.

'Well the shorter, less messy version of the story goes something like this- The other day I was on a job, and as a results of actions made by myself, events took place which have had serious consequences. Due to this Rufus had no choice but to suspend me, and well lets just say suspension in this case means expulsion from the Turks and Shinra for the rest of my sorry life.' Reno thought on reflection that when you put it like that it all sounding incredibly simple, to clean compared to the actual reality of the situation.

'So that's who you were talking about, the ones who…' He stopped momentarily as all the pieces fell into place, and Reno not wanting him to continue that question, began to speak himself.

'I'm sure I don't have to tell you why being thrown out of the Turks is worse than it first sounds.' He paused and took a sip of his coffee, jumping a little when the hot liquid burnt the roof of his mouth. Cloud took his momentary distraction as a invitation to voice his thoughts.

'Its not just like losing a job I guess, its…' Cloud ceased speaking once again, feeling it was not his place to finish what he had started to say.

'…like losing your whole life.' Reno spoke bitterly, his eyes downcast. 'When you're a Turk its hard to really make acquaintances. Lets face it, the only people I know outside Shinra, I know for the wrong reasons.' He sighed as he mentally ticked off all the people that would be so happy to hear that he was no longer a part of the Turks, he was basically a free and available target now, for anyone wanting to exact revenge for past 'misunderstandings' . He became so engrossed in tallying up the grim list in his head, that he had not noticed that Cloud had begun speaking again.

'Reno?' The blond soon realised that the man across the kitchen from him had not heard a word he had said.

'Uh what…' Reno looked at Cloud slightly dazed, quite clearly partially still in his own little world. The blond just subtlety shook his head and continued.

'I said, so which group do I come under?' He was less interested in the answer to that question now though, and more intrigued in finding out what Reno was so deeply contemplating. Said red head quickly wondered to himself where Cloud did fit into the little equation he was formulating. So far it read,

_Survival Rate _

_number of people who do not want to kill me - number of people who do want to kill me_

Reno grimaced, it did not bode well that his survival rate came out as a negative figure. 'Well,' He started, focusing his attention on Cloud. ' I suppose I kind of know you through Shinra, but then again we weren't ever really work buddies.' He gave Cloud a sickly sweet, but week smile. 'So that means the question is, do you want to kill me, or are you quite happy with me being alive?'

'What?!' Cloud blinked taken aback by the ludicrous question, especially after what had been said last night, but Reno continued with his twisted train of thought.

'Then again if you wanted to kill me, you'd have done it by now.' The red head was even shocking himself, it seemed whatever had been slipped into his drink last night had screwed with whatever part of his brain processed logical thought. 'Unless of course your working for some shady character who has a vendetta against myself or Shinra, and your only being all nice to me just so you can serve me up to them on a silver platter.' he mulled other the idea for a moment, and then cracked his first genuine smile in days. 'Nah, your to nice and hero like to something so sneaky and cunning.'

Cloud nearly crushed the egg he had just picked up. 'Hey! I'm not all angelic, I have my dark side.' He turned back to the stove, decidedly sulking.

Reno laughed to himself, happily replacing his thoughts of being disowned by Shinra by making fun of Cloud. 'No, not angelic, saintly maybe.'

Cloud huffed, and pretended to ignore him, but could not help the annoyed mutter that escaped his lips. 'What would you know.'

Reno did not miss the mumbled words though. 'Well prove me wrong, show me this dark side of yours.' He said with a hint of mirth, his eyes twinkling deviously.

The blonde turned towards him, wooden spoon in one hand, egg in the other. 'Well, there was that one time…' Reno stopped him, shaking his head.

'If its anything to do with Sephiroth, it doesn't count, since you were being controlled.' He pointed out, then with what Cloud thought was an unnervingly innocence smile upon his face continued. 'Unless of course, its something you and Mr Silver haired crazy of the century got up to in private, before he was overcome by previously mentioned madness, if you know what I mean.' Reno barley had time to smile and wink at the now red faced blond, before an egg was thrown directly at his face. He ducked just in time, wincing as he heard the egg smash, crack, and slide down the wall behind him.

'Hey wait, it was a joke.' Reno dared to peer up slightly, from where he cowered beneath his arms. 'Everyone knows really that your…' The red head stopped speechless, for one Cloud was not coming towards him, brandishing a kitchen knife with a murderous glint in his eyes as he had expected. He failed to even look angry. 'What are you smiling at?' Reno wondered if he had finally caused the ex-soldier to have a nervous breakdown.

'I suppose its just nice to see you acting more like your normal self.' Cloud explained, before frowning to himself. He'd all of a sudden had a very bad feeling that he had forgotten something important, but Reno interrupted his thoughts as he spoke again.

'Urm Cloud, is something burning?'

The red head couldn't help but laugh as the colour drained from the others face. That was until the blonde whirled around, knocked the handle of the frying pan, which as a result went flying across the room, narrowly missing Reno, who was glad for the second time that day that he had quick reactions, as he ducked but not before letting out a high pitched yelp, which caused Cloud to jump in shock, reach out to grab something for support, only to put his hand on the hot stove behind him, then yelp even louder than Reno just had, and fall unceremoniously into the chairs opposite the red head with almighty crash.

888

Twenty minutes or so later found Cloud sat on his sofa, grimacing in pain, as Reno wrapped a freshly soaked, icy cold towel around his throbbing burnt hand. 'Ouch!' Cloud whimpered out again, he had done so, so many times that Reno had lost count.

'Oh hush you big baby' He chided Cloud, as he swatted away his un-burnt hand as it reached over to interfere in what the red head was doing.

'Well you could try and be more gentle.' He sulked, wincing as the painful stinging rushed through his hand again.

'Oh come on are you telling me the medics in Solider were gentle, and anyway I am being gentle.' As if to prove a point, he took great care in resting Clouds hand in his lap, making sure none of the burnt area rubbed against anything, as he reached down to retrieve some burn salve from the first aid box by his feet.

Cloud all of a sudden feeling rather childish refused to give up and smirked at Reno as he sat back up, tube of burn salve in one hand. ' If this is you being gentle, it really leaves me wondering what your like when your treating somebody roughly.' Cloud knew as soon as he finished what he was saying that he should have kept his mouth shut. Reno's eyes had taken on a devious glint, and his smile was almost malicious.

'I'll have you know many people have informed me how they love how gentle I can be..' He slowly crept more onto the sofa, making a beeline for Cloud '…but even more people have told me how they love it even more when I'm anything but gentle.' He practically purred out as he placed a hand on either one of Clouds thighs. Leaning forward till their noises were just millimetres apart Reno grinned wickedly at Cloud who was staring at him with nervous wide eyes. 'If your so curious I'm very willing to give you a demonstration of how rough I can be.' Just as Cloud thought something truly unexpected was going to happen, he found himself crying out in immense pain, as some part of Reno's body, he could not even being to figure out which, came into contact with his burnt hand.

Reno tumbled back off Cloud and the sofa in shock. Recovering, he picked him self up off the floor to see the other clutching his burnt hand in anguish. 'Oh shit.' He leapt into action grabbing the previously forgotten towel, dashing out of the lounge area he came rushing back in a few minutes and proceeded to kneel at Clouds feet. Gently but quickly grabbing the injured hand, he wrapped it in the newly soaked cold towel once again, and listened as Cloud let out a bizarre noise, created by a mix of pain and relief, Reno took it as a good sign and sheepishly looked up at him. 'I'm sorry, I guess I got a little carried away.' He then removed the damp towel, dried Clouds hand carefully and began to massage some of the salve into it.

Cloud did not reply straight away, but first let out a content little sigh, as the salve and Reno's slender fingers worked some of the pain and tension out of his hand. 'Its fine really, I shouldn't have taunted you in the first place.' He finished speaking and let out another happy little moan. Reno smile and stood up, to which Cloud hummed in disappointed as the soothing sensation left his hand, fair enough the salve was still working it magic, but Reno fingers rubbing it in had felt good.

'Scoot forward a little Cloud.' Reno asked, and Cloud still lost in thoughts obeyed without question, he did tense up somewhat though as he felt Reno slide onto the sofa and sit behind him.

'Reno wh…' Cloud was halted in his questioning as Reno silenced him.

'Shush Cloud, just relax.' Reno placed his hands on the others shoulders, and began to run his hands across them. 'I feel I should repay you for the kindness you showed me last night, and also make it up to you for causing a few problems today.' He continued to massage Clouds shoulders, working on the tense knots he found within the well defined muscle that lay beneath the thin layer of fabric that formed clouds t-shirt. 'And plus you also seem like such a tense guy most of the time, so this seemed like an appropriate thank you gift, plus I've been told I'm quite talented with my hands.' He said happily progressing to work his hands over Clouds back.

Cloud, not yet feeling anymore relaxed was just about to tell Reno this was not necessary when the red heads hands found a certain spot, and Cloud found himself unable to bite back a loud moan that escape his lips. Reno laughed quietly. 'See, I am good.' He said self assuredly.

'Don't you ever just relax Cloud, you know just ever take a few days off and get away from it all?' It was genuine curiosity that caused Reno to ask the man who was now basically purring beneath his fingertips the question, he had never really seen Cloud just kick back and, well act like a normal, healthy twenty something. To Reno, who took much pleasure in kicking back and partying, this realisation was just little a unsettling.

He waited a little while but the blond did not answer, he even wondered if the other had been lulled into a sweet sleep by his massaging hands. 'Some days I just wake up with the thought of leaving at the forefront of my mind. I have spent to much time in this city. I know too many faces, faces that I wish I'd never clapped eyes on in the first place, and to add insult to injury there are people that follow and track my movements that I don't even recall ever being acquainted with in the first place, yet they seem to know me, sometimes better than I know myself.' He finished with a bitter laugh, which caught Clouds attention, only enough to allow him to think up, and drawl out a simple statement in response. 'Yet you're still here.' This caused the red head to halt his actions, and when Cloud turned towards him he was greeted with a confused, ponderous expression.

'Well I suppose I did not leave because I could not leave, you know since Shinra don't really offer a sparkling sickness and holiday plan to their employers.' Another bitter laugh, another over the top smile. 'Now I think about it though I don't have a clue where I would go, what I would do. I suppose I thought I'd be in Shinra till my dying days, since its rare a Turk ever even makes it to retirement age, one of the oh so joyful perks of the jobs.' Cloud nodded in agreement, and then thought about his own job.

It was a far cry from Reno's, he would just leave the city without a word and drive across barren wastes, and lush green fields, not a care in the world. The only thing he had to worry about was making sure he delivered whatever he had been entrusted with in time, and recently he had not run into all that much trouble on the road. It was strangely peaceful, simple life, and in all honestly Cloud was beginning to tire of it. Maybe that was why he was becoming so enamoured with Reno, he was the embodiment of excitement and exhilaration itself, or at least that is what Cloud had thought until last night.

The blond organised when it came his work, he could recall all the jobs he had planned for the next two weeks, his next job would take him out of the city for quite a few days, and it was imperative that he made it to his destination on time. He decided all these mundane thoughts of work were unnecessary, and began to wonder when Reno might decide to continue to massage he back again. _'Its not like I have to leave to leave till Wednesday anyway.' _Instead of making Cloud relax though, this thought caused him to jump to his feet.

Reno who had been watching the Blond in a tranquil daze was taken back, shocked out of his state. 'Cloud what's wrong?' He asked in concern as he watched the colour drain from the others face.

'Its Wednesday.' Was the only answer Reno got, as Cloud raced from the room, leaving him sitting on the sofa staring at where the other had disappeared to in wonder, before he got up and decided to follow, his curious side taking over.

**TBC (I have not had time to check how has changed my formatting, so sorry if its gone a bit strange...)**

**Ah yes, TBC sooner than this chapter was. My sincerest apologies for this chapter taking so long for me to write and update, but basically I was failing my degree and all my efforts had to be driven into passing. I did pass though, I got a 2.2, which may be not good enough for some, but for me that is great, and more importantly I got a 1st for my dissertation (the big big essay) so wahoo.**

**Anyway enough about that and onto the story. Well this chapter was the big talkie talkie one, and I think it is the longest chapter so far, and maybe to you the most boring (but I kind of enjoyed writing it, and re-reading- one will take this time to say sorry for any errors, but I do not always spot them). I had Reno being a very naughty boy near the end, which was fun to write, but also writing a Clouds flashbacks, and long bits of conversation between the two was also nice to come up with.**

**I know Reno's behaviour seems to jump from happy, depressed, manic such and such, but he's having a hard time off it at the moment, and that's just the way his thoughts and actions are going.**

**So anyway thank you very much for reading and reviewing, and cheers for sticking with me and this story.**

**Special thanks goes to- oruchuban Ebichu, Ithilian, Sabith, lacyrelic, and Toolittletoolate for reviewing the last chapter, your reviews made me even more determined to get out of my writers block black hole, so thank you again**

**I've realised getting to this chapter that it has marked just the beginning, (and I think that is why it has taken me so long to write, I wanted to get it right, so the relationship and story could grow well from this point) so I think this may go on for a while, and that means quite a few more chapters. In between working and other commitments I shall try my best to get the next chapter out quick. There is one hell of a journey to come, and this is just the beginning, it may take me a year or two more, but I'll complete it don't you worry hehe.**

**As always feel free to read and review!**

**Love and hugs,**

**Emily**


	6. Somwhere between waking and sleeping

**Disclaimers: **I do not own FFVII or any of the characters in this story.

**Warning: **Just my read through before post, so mistakes ahoy!

**Setting:** A couple of years after Advent children

_Oh me oh my it has been years…..this chapter and many of the next have been in form for years, but well life it ran away with me one could say…sorry._

_Yet again, thank you to the people that have reviewed and to anyone out there that has took time to read this story._

**Anyway on with the show…..**

**Chapter 6- Somewhere between waking and sleeping**

A storm was rolling over the hills and barren waste lands beyond the city limits, Reno could sense it. The air was unbearably hot and still, and Clouds apartment was slowly growing darker as the sky outside became grey with heavy clouds.

Reno looked over the back of the sofa on which he currently sat, his sight focused on the white door that the blond had slammed shut behind him, when he had rushed into the room beyond it in panic earlier. He had stood up to follow the other initially, but he knew when people needed to be left alone, and it had seemed very much like one of those times.

Standing up the red head wandered aimlessly over to a set of double doors that appeared to lead out onto a small balcony. Opening the doors and stepping outside he took in the surrounding area. It was a nice neighborhood, clean and quiet, the exact opposite to where he called home. He snickered to himself; home sweet home to him was gunshots, sirens and all the unsavory characters one could imagine. He found it comforting though in a strange way, this neighborhood was nice, but it lacked in personality, it was cold and lifeless. Reno needed noise, needed the buzz, and plus he fitted in to that world like a missing piece in a jigsaw puzzle, albeit a small insignificant piece. That was his way of life, and now what would he do.

With that question rattling around in his head, he caught sight of the first flash of lightening far in the distance. Tingles ran through his skin, he was wide awake and full of a nervous energy that he could not explain. He needed to do something, to calm down and wear himself out.

Turning back into the flat he searched for something to do, without disturbing his kind host.

xxx

'Pick up please…' Cloud leant against the not so sturdy desk that was nestled into a corner of his small office. His left hand held a phone receiver up to his ear, while his right tapped out an erratic rhythm on the paper work strewn over the desk.

His fortunes today had been unbalanced at best, but at this very moment they had taken a decidedly unwelcome plummet towards doom and despair.

Just as he was about to give in as the phone rang for the umpteenth time, the line on the other end clicked and connected.

'Hello Tifa speaking.'

The blonde nearly jumped out of his skin in relief, sending a nearby pot of pens flying of the desk and clattering to the floor. 'Tifa you answered, I was just about to hang up!' He let out a sigh of relief, almost collapsing into his swivel chair.

'Nice to speak to you to Cloud, I'm busy so I was hoping the person ringing would just give up.' She laughed, and waited to see what her long-time friend wanted.

Cloud paused, juggling around in his mind how it was best to ask Tifa for help, 'How busy?' but quickly decided the direct approach was probably the best.

'Why?' Tifa's asked, a curious tone sneaking into her voice.

'I need a favor' He took a deep breathe, and then launched straight into his explanation not giving Tifa a second to say anything.

'I have this job, this very important job, the kind of job I really can't mess up, and well I have kind messed up' He said a silent prayer and continued. 'I was supposed to pick up a parcel this evening, I've already been paid half up front to pick it up and deliver it and if I don't turn up to collect it tonight, well…' He stopped not quite sure what the consequences may be.

The client was not a regular, but he had called Cloud after a recommendation from one of Clouds biggest customers, the job was a going to be tough, but the pay more than compensated for that fact and that's what you got for transporting questionable goods for unsavory characters, plus it paid the rent.

Tifa finally spoke up again, confusion apparent in her voice. 'I don't understand Cloud, why can't you just go pick it up?'

'Urm well…please Tifa if you can just pick up the parcel for me, it's not far from yours, I'll be forever grateful.' He tried to escape giving an explanation, and resorted straight to begging.

'Why what's wrong with you, are you ill?' Confusion soon ebbed into concern.

'Not exactly' Cloud replied sheepishly.

'Not exactly? Wait are you hung over?' Concern turned to disbelieve, and before Cloud could even shape the word 'No' in his mouth, his friend continued, he sighed knowing that at least for the next few minutes he would struggle to get a word in edge ways.

'What, did you go out last night?'

'No, well yes, but I'm not..'

'Cloud, I don't believe you! You expect me to do your job because you got wasted last night, and now you're nursing a sore head.'

'Hey! If you'd let me finish I'm not hung over.' He spoke quickly, his voice edgy.

'But you were out last night?' Tifa asked the same question again, this time a bit more calmly, and Cloud took a deep breathe too before continuing.

'Kind of, it was late on, and…and…' he stopped before blurting out 'I just can't leave the flat at the moment.' He kicked himself mentally as soon as the words had left his mouth.

'Oh ho, I see! You spent the night with some floozy and now you expect me to be all understanding.' Tifa was back on the rampage again.

'No and anyway…' Cloud was interrupted as Tifa spoke again.

'I'll do it on one condition, you tell me who she is Cloud.' A devious laugh, Cloud felt he could practically see his dear, yet sometimes unbearable friend smirking like a mad woman on the other end of the line.

'Tifa!' Disbelieve.

'Oh come on Cloud, I'm only looking out for you.' That was a lie and Cloud knew it, well at least a half lie, Tifa may have been concerned, but it was more likely she wanted something to gossip about with Yuffie next time the young Ninja paid a visit to the city.

'Well I can't tell you, because I do not at present and never did have a girl round here.'

'Stars above…never did… dear me Cloud your sex life is in dire straits. Maybe I should introduce you to a few friends of mine.' Cloud could hear the cogs turning in Tifa's brain already, as she mentally sorted through which of her friends Cloud might go for. He wanted to laugh, she could never have been more wrong.

'Tifa, my sex life is just fine without your meddling, thank you very much, but your half right.'

'What you do want to meet some of my friends.' Her voice filled with gleeful joy, but Cloud soon changed that with what he said next.

'No, what I mean is I have got someone here, at the apartment, and I can't leave them at the moment, their…well…in a delicate condition.' Cloud finished, hoping that Tifa's questioning would now come to an end, oh how wrong he could have been, and if anything it got worse.

'Oh I knew it!' She practically screamed down the phone, causing the blond to grimace. 'Wait delicate condition? Cloud you beast, what did you do to the poor…'

'Tifa I told you…'

'Guy!' Another girlie squeal come scream. 'You had a man round at yours last night, and he's still there, you should have said, I mean we all had our suspicions that you were, well you know, batting for the other team, but ah Cloud that's brill..' Cloud couldn't keep up, who had their suspicions? Brill? It was all too much for his tired brain to take.

'I'm hanging up now'

'Wait, wait! You still want me to get that package for you don't you?' Tifa teased.

'Yesssss' Cloud switched right back into begging and pleading mode.

'Well I'll head out right now and get it for you.'

'Tifa you're a life saver.' Cloud was going to give Tifa the biggest hug in the world when he saw her, and Cloud did not hug people, well not often, or in public, did nothing for his image.

'And you can come and pick it up after closing.'

'That's great!'

'And you can bring along your new boyfriend.' Cloud nearly fell of his chair, oh why was their always a catch.

'But I…'

'Anyway must dash…'

'Tif..'

'Seeeeeyouuu later Loooverboy!' A giggle.

'Tifa…' But it was too late; the line had already gone dead.

Cloud slumped back in his chair, only to nearly have a heart attack as his phone rang shrilly; he scrambled to pick it up.

'Cloud all that hot man sex you've been partaking in must have messed with your brain; you never gave me any details on where to pick your parcel up.' Tifa's voice was still full of girly delight.

'Urm I urm…' Cloud shook his head, and searched though the scattered papers on his desk until he found the right one. No sooner had he relayed the relevant information to his friend had the line gone dead once again. He was given no chances to put her right on the whole 'how Cloud actually spent last night' matter.

Relaxing back into his chair once again, Cloud sat trying to figure out exactly what the hell had just happened. How had Tifa come up with such a crazy notion, but as he worked through his thoughts he felt a blush start to creep onto his face. Thinking about what she had suggested he and Reno had been doing the previous night caused any number of inappropriate images to float into his head. He quickly decided he better stop sitting around and find something else to occupy his mind, before he ended up having a slight problem.

Strangely enough, the only thing Cloud could think of doing now he had averted the small crisis of a missed job, was to check on Reno.

He had thought the red head would have followed him straight into the small office, but it had been nearly an hour and he had not seen, or heard anything that would alert him to the others presence in the apartment.

'Maybe he's left' He whispered to himself, a pang of something akin to disappointment crept into his mind, sending unwelcome shivers down his spine.

Gathering his thoughts Cloud walked out of his small and now untidy office, and into the seemingly empty and dark lounge area. He felt the pangs of disappointment creeping back over him, as he realized Reno had left and was probably now making his way back to where ever he called home in the worsening storm.

Deflated and slightly annoyed that the red head had gone without even saying bye, Cloud kicked out in frustration, only to find himself cursing as his foot hit the edge of the rooms solid wood coffee table, stubbing his toe. Limping, still muttering under his breathe, he located the light switch and flicked it on before he had anymore clumsy moments.

As the bulb flickered into life he had to put a hand over his mouth to muffle a shocked yelp. It appeared that Reno had not left after all and unnoticed before by Cloud in the dimly lit room, was actually curled up fast asleep on one end of the sofa.

On further inspection Cloud found that the Kitchen area had been fully cleaned, all evidence of the disastrous attempt at breakfast cleaned and cleared away, the place almost sparkled.

He smiled to himself, despite the throbbing pain in his foot and cast his gaze back to Reno, now quite unable to tear his eyes away from the scene. Reno was, dare he say 'cute' when he was sleeping. His face was relaxed; knees were pulled up to his chest, with his hands pillowing his head where red hair was gorgeously messed up and fluffy. It was the picture of peaceful innocence, two words Cloud had never expected to associate was the ex-turk.

Suppressing a yawn himself, he checked the clock on the wall, he had some time to spare now Tifa was helping him out, plus the poor quality of sleep he'd had the previous night meant he was feeling if not more than a little tired himself. Quietly he grabbed a blanket from his bedroom, and draped it other his sleeping companion and sat down himself on the opposite end of the sofa, pulling the trailing end of the fluffy cover over his legs and as soon as he closed his eyes sleep found him easily.

TBC

xxx

Right then my dears hope you enjoyed that, next update hopefully in months, maybe even weeks, but one promises not ahem ….years.

Review if you wish (how they make me smile with glee), but if not I do hope you enjoyed the read and thanks for taking the time to do so.

That is all for now,

Cheers

Miss Milly Jane


	7. I'm never as tired as when I'm waking up

Not dead…felt it some days hence the massive delay…well this chapter is all filling and not at all thrilling (leaving that until the next).

Well please except my greatest apologies for the delay (for reasons one wishes not to explain) and all mistake are my own, so please do forgive, but also I hope at the same time you enjoy.

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Chapter 8- but i'm never as tired as when I waking up…

Reno slowly began to awake from his slumber an hour or so later, not that he wanted to, since at present he was surrounded by lovely soothing warmth, which his sleepy mind decided that it was only right to snuggle further into, as an alternative to waking up. Almost purring contently he let one hand trail out along the surface on which he currently rested, pausing when he felt soft, smooth, blissfully warm skin beneath his fingertips.

_Skin. _He stopped, quickly snatching back his hand and for the second time that day he found he had to dare himself to open his eyes, as soon as he did though he shut them again, as he was met with wide, yet still sleepy, shocked blue eyes, an expression he was sure mirrored his own.

The red head could not help but let out a little huff a mere moment later, as the arms that had encircled him in a warm embrace, retreated from his body. Opening his eyes again, he shifted to the other end of the sofa, feeling horribly cold; he pulled the abandoned fluffy blanket over himself.

'I'm sorry' That made him look over to where Cloud still sat looking dazed. 'I must have moved in my sleep.' He ran a hand nervously through blond hair and sheepishly glanced at Reno.

'That's okay, you were warm,' Reno stopped and threw the other man a warning glare 'but if you dare go around telling people how…how…'

'….cuddly you are?' Cloud grinned as he finished Reno's sentence, laughing outright at the ludicrous look of disgust on the others face.

'Small fact for you Strife' Oh yes Reno was miffed, using the blonde's last name and all 'that I do not and never…' Reno did not get any further though as the sound of his grumbling stomach filled the room.

'Hungry?' A simple question, a raised eyebrow.

'Yes' Defeat.

'Food?' A stupid question.

'No I'm going to fill up on fresh air you…' Cloud cut short Reno's sarcastic tirade. 'Wow your grumpy when you've just woke up.' He frowned, but his voice was full of mocking laughter.

The red head deciding to ignore Cloud's last comment got up of the sofa with an air of determination. 'Right that's it, me-you-dinner-now, it's my turn this time since breakfast was such a train wreck.'

'Hey' Cloud stumbled to his feet in defense 'That was just as much your fault as it was mine.'

'Minor details' Reno strode of into the kitchen with great purpose, causing Cloud to quickly follow, as many doors and draws could be heard being opened and closed. He had barely made it the doorway before Reno came back, nearly walking straight in to him. 'You Strife, have the worst stocked kitchen I have ever seen, I mean what do you live on?'

'Well I…I'm' Cloud annoyed once again tried to explain, but was cut short.

'Never mind I'll go back to my place, get sorted and grab some stuff on the way.' The red head smiled brightly at the blonde. 'I'll be back before you know it.'

'No really Reno you don't have to, I mean I need to go…' The blonde faltered when the red head fixed him with a serious look.

'No Cloud I do, I need to thank you in some way, not saying that one lousy meal is enough…' His voice faded to nothing as the words he had been about to utter died on his lips, uncertainty flashing through his eyes.

The blonde sighed, wanting to give him a reason to smile he gave in. 'Okay why not' His reward for submitting to the others wish was a small but wondrous smile 'but I have to…'

'Great, well I'll be back in an hour, make sure your done with whatever business you've got to sort out by then.' Before he could blink Reno was striding towards the door. 'See you later'

The blonde quickly hurried to catch up, 'Reno wait' but the man in question did not hear him or chose to ignore him, the blonde was pretty sure it was the latter.

'Oh and I'm borrowing your jacket.' Reno stopped at the door, hastily grabbing Cloud's leather jacket off a nearby coat hook and shrugging it on. 'Hmm this is a nice jacket' he thought aloud to himself as his hand came to rest on the door handle, looking over his shoulder to give the blonde a parting glance 'Well bye for now.'

'But..' The blonde reached out for thin air as the door slammed shut behind the red head, sighing for what seemed like the hundredth time that day he turned back into his apartment, deciding he may as well get ready and go see Tifa.

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Hmmm short...very short

More soon…well you can choose to believe that or not, but hey I will try.

Reviews as always are loved

Bye for now xxx


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